After the glorious heights of SPIDER-MAN 2 -- probably the best
comic-book movie ever -- the franchise succumbs to sequel-itis with the
decidedly earthbound SPIDER-MAN 3.
It’s rare that a movie's opening credits make you
dread what is to come, but this might be No. 3's only triumph. Behind
the credits is a montage of highlights from the first two, far superior
movies. Sappy Star Trek 3 did the same thing. It's as if
co-writer/director Sam Raimi was saying, "My other movies were great,
so cut me some slack for this new one, would you?" Write it again, Sam.
Then we get some aw-shucks narration from
Spidey/Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), telling us how he's still in love
with M.J. (Kirsten Dunst) and is still thriving in college. Then we're
shown what a nerd Parker still is, as some idiotic classmates sit
behind him in class using -- I can't believe I'm writing this --
pea-shooters on Peter. Do today's college students even have time for
this kind of stuff?
Most telling is what we might call the
de-characterization of M.J. I suppose she was always just "the
girlfriend in peril" (a la Superman's Lois Lane), but at least it
wasn't so drearily obvious in the other movies. The same woman who
ended S2 declaring eternal love for Peter is now a self-centered drip,
whining about Peter "not considering her feelings" and other
psycho-babble.
The villains are flimsy, too. Peter's
buddy-turned-foe Harry (James Franco) is so sketchily written, half the
time he can't even remember whether he's Peter's enemy or not. The
origins of the Sand Man (Thomas Haden Church) are sloughed off with a
movie cliche: He became a crook only to raise money for his sickly
daughter's operation (Awww!). And don't even get me started on Peter's
job rival Eddie Brock (Topher Graceless, excuse me, Grace).
After that, Raimi tosses other sequels in the air
and picks their worst elements off the floor. The villains are so weak
on their own, they have to bond to fight Spider-Man (same as in Batman
Forever). Some alien goo lands on Spidey/Peter and makes him show his
darker side (Superman 3, been there, done that).
The special effects are snazzy, as always, even
though Raimi has publicly claimed that he didn't have enough time to
get them right. So that means he had time to hone the script and let
that slide instead?
And finally, a sop to fans of cult actor Bruce
Campbell: As in the first two movies, his short but funny role here is
probably the movie's comic highlight.
The message that this movie labors to shove down our
throats is that each person has a choice and should make it properly.
Here's my recommended choice for S3: Wait for it on HBO. - SB
Copyright © 2010 Steve Bailey. All Rights Reserved. Used by special permission.